but we’re never gonna survive,unless we get a little crazy…….

i used to have this passion burning inside me.

i believed in myself,

i knew i could achieve anything if i worked hard enough.

i wanted to change the world.

no,

more than that,

i believed i was changing the world,

that i was playing a small part in positive alteration.

i wrote

i danced

i worked

i loved

i studied

i sang

i marched

i lived.

i relished a challenge.

i was someone who had the answers.

when i thought of the future, i felt excitement bubble inside me.

i couldn’t wait to jump in.

i was so very sure that life would be good

and kind

and happy.

was that just naivety ?

i still want to change the world.

it just strikes me as a bit of stretch these days

i have yet to instigate meaningful changes in my own life,

the entire world seems a little out of reach.

i don’t understand where that girl went.

she was so robust.

i’d never have guessed that she’d fold.

i suppose she had to protect herself.

it seemed like the wisest thing at the time

anything in the name of self-preservation.

she had to shed some hope

and

build some barriers to survive.

now that she’s gone

i wonder if it was worth it.

the truth is,

i would give anything to be her again.

the problem is,

i don’t know if she exists anymore.

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One Response to “but we’re never gonna survive,unless we get a little crazy…….”

  1. You wrote those words, you did those things, that was YOU. You are still YOU. It may not feel like the same you, but it is you nevertheless. We gain weight, we lose weight, we lose money, we gain money, we lose our sanity and we gain it back again.

    You are still you and only stronger because of what you’ve been through and what you put yourself through. You just don’t see it yet.

    I do.

    *hugs*

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