i always knew, i’d lose you….


i have accepted that  i can’t have him


my head knows that it would never work




my heart wants him


it wants to tell him every time i see a hedgehog


or hear something ridiculous.


longs to have dinner with him


& shoosh his complaints that i eat like a mouse.


aches for frenzied drunken sex


followed by random chat on his impossibly large sofa.


it wants these




a million other things.


i can’t forget the angry face he makes when he cums


or the way he carries his  man bag.


i don’t want to erase the memories that




make my stomach flip.


the stupid part




i always knew he’d break my heart.


even when i was deliriously happy,


i was aware that it could never last.


i met a man who captivated me enough to break down all my barriers


i knew from the very beginning that i couldn’t keep him,




i wanted to




how i wanted to.


2 Responses to “i always knew, i’d lose you….”

  1. jenna Says:

    i kind of hate him for not being all you need.

    i know you know this, but you’ve got to move on.

    love you.

    • doyourememberthattime Says:

      i know i do, i’m just not sure how to do it.
      don’t hate him. i don’t regret it. those secial moments were worth the hurt.
      love you

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