i always knew, i’d lose you….

 

i have accepted that  i can’t have him

 

my head knows that it would never work

 

but

 

my heart wants him

 

it wants to tell him every time i see a hedgehog

 

or hear something ridiculous.

 

longs to have dinner with him

 

& shoosh his complaints that i eat like a mouse.

 

aches for frenzied drunken sex

 

followed by random chat on his impossibly large sofa.

 

it wants these

 

&

 

a million other things.

 

i can’t forget the angry face he makes when he cums

 

or the way he carries his  man bag.

 

i don’t want to erase the memories that

 

still

 

make my stomach flip.

 

the stupid part

 

is

 

i always knew he’d break my heart.

 

even when i was deliriously happy,

 

i was aware that it could never last.

 

i met a man who captivated me enough to break down all my barriers

 

i knew from the very beginning that i couldn’t keep him,

 

but

 

i wanted to

 

oh,

 

how i wanted to.

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2 Responses to “i always knew, i’d lose you….”

  1. jenna Says:

    i kind of hate him for not being all you need.

    i know you know this, but you’ve got to move on.

    love you.

    • doyourememberthattime Says:

      i know i do, i’m just not sure how to do it.
      don’t hate him. i don’t regret it. those secial moments were worth the hurt.
      love you
      xx

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