i wish it could be blue again …..

 

i feel grey again

 

it’s not the most severe level of depression

 

but it’s the most dispiriting.

 

 

i see no point in anything.

 

i’d happily stay in bed

 

no

 

i’d miserably stay in bed.

 

i’m not speaking of a luxurious lie in

 

it’s a bleak,

 

gloomy

 

unwillingness to tackle life.

 

 

i’m scared to leave the house.

 

someone pressing my door bell sent me into panic.

 

if i drop something

 

i cry.

 

 

there is no joy.

 

i dread the things i used to take pleasure in

 

food is tasteless

 

music makes me sob

 

 

i see no end

 

no relief.

 

 

washing my hair is an achievement

 

the sun outside an annoyance

 

i’d like someone to help

 

but there isn’t anything anyone can do.

 

 

my head is seeped in grey.

 

 

 

i don’t want to die

 

i just don’t want to live this life.

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5 Responses to “i wish it could be blue again …..”

  1. I know this feeling so well and I know there is little I can say that will help. I want you to know I understand, I want you to know I am here for you, I want you to know I value you and like you, I want you to know that as unlikely as it seems you will stop feeling like this one day, I want you to know you are precious and your pain is unfair.

    Much love

    Zoe
    Xxx

    • doyourememberthattime Says:

      thank you. to be vauled & liked by someone so wonderful is amazing. i wish i could believe that these feelings would leave me, but they always come back. i would do naything to be better.

  2. As always you have such an eloquent way of describing your feelings and i want you to know that i hear your pain. I wish i was there to make you a big mug of tea and give you a hug and tell you it will pass, it will be ok, but all i can do is send you cyberhugs. @ehullis3823 xx

  3. I know that feeling. and i think thats a beautifull, yet saddening way of describing it. ‘not the most sever, but the most dispiriting’.

    i hope this passes soon. And i hope the next up, makes this down seem less debilitating. xx

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