sex is not the enemy….

a wave of depression has washed over me
if i could hibernate until it passed
i would
failing that, what i crave
is some really hot,
really rough
sex.

i want to be fucked
hard.
sweaty, dirty, sweetly painful

i want to feel something else.

sex acts like a positive form of self harm.
it forces me to stay in the moment
i focus on the sensations
instead
of what’s going on in my mind

when i am in the midst of a sublime sexual experience
i am free
my mind declares a cease fire
i experience peace & joy simultanously
suddenly i’m attractive,
functioning
powerful
i see aspects of myself that are usually out of view

i yearn to be suspended in that untroubled embrace
sex is my favourite medicine.

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