Archive for missing

life is what happens to you whilst you’re busy making other plans…..

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , , , on 12/02/2013 by doyourememberthattime

sometimes, i’ll be in a shop and i see something she’d like
and
i forget.
just for minute, then, i remember
and i’m that crazy lady who crys in public.

every call reminds me of how much she is growing
changing
experiencing
without me

i am missing too much

so much happens everyday
in her life
and
her head

i used to know all her whims
her favourites
who cried at nursery
which toy she wanted most in the bath

the little details that make up her world

now, i’m constantly playing catch up
she talks about kids i don’t know
goes places i’ve never been.
i’m missing all the background detail.

facetime & skype make it easier
but
it’s not enough

i want to tickle her
make her cereal in the morning
see all the new things she learns
because she learns new things everyday

new words pop up in her vocabularly
her accent is changing
her hair is so long
i want to put it into bunches
and
side ponies
and
play with her curls

i want to be there from the moment she opens her eyes
until she closes them again
i want all the nonsense inbetween.

i miss my muffin.

Advertisements

a house is not a home…

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , on 31/08/2012 by doyourememberthattime

i haven’t written a some time.
mostly because i haven’t had anything to say about
the situation i find myself in.

i’m not sure if i can be any more lucid now
but
it feels time to try.

my niece is gone.
it is even harder than i anticipated
my life feels incerdibly empty without her
i
feel
empty

in the big picture
she’s still my reason
but
day to day
my life has no meaning

the way i miss my brother
has taken by surprise.
i knew i’d miss him
but
i didn’t realise that i’d feel i had a missing part
we’ve always been a foursome
two girls
two boys
and, now one of is gone
the eldest piece of our puzzle
is
lost.

it feels wrong

so, i exist between skype calls,
live for their half hour duration
quietly die when she kisses the screen
goodbye

i’m not going to recite the details of my daily decline
it’s tawdry
boring
and
pitiful

it just felt time to
write
something.

is he bold enough to take me on ?

Posted in love with tags , , on 26/07/2010 by doyourememberthattime

he’s gone for two weeks

i already feel lost.

it terrifies me.

i missed him before he was even gone.

two weeks is not a long time.

i keep repeating those words.

i’m just not sure how to get through the days without him.

i’ll miss his eloquent text messages.

the way the click of my phone

makes my tummy flip.

i need a daily fix of my odd man

i need our converations.

words that fill my night,my heart & mind.

fuck, i feel too much.