Archive for muffin

ain’t no mountain high enough…

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on 30/09/2013 by doyourememberthattime

every friday or saturday night I facetime my girl.
it’s first thing in the morning in australia
so, my muffin is just starting her day.
from the moment her little face flashes up on my screen
i am happy.

our calls are always a joy.
she dances for me
tells me incredible stories of her own creation
sings
fills me in on her latest discoveries
be they monster high
or god help us, Justin beiber.
she is amazing.

this child remembers everything.
her memory of events when she was tiny, tiny astound me.
she is so smart
beautiful
&
funny.
she cracks me up.

as much as I love our facetime,
they also break my heart just a little bit
i am missing so much.
my girl swims now
she knows her alphabet
the cats she draws are fantastic
she now says awesome in an aussie accent
&
on friday night a wolf sneaked into her bedroom ( don’t worry, it was a friendly wolf who just wanted to say hello & check out her Justin beiber songs)
i want to be there for every moment.
i want to know what’s happening in her life as it happens.

so, after more than a year of longing for my muffin
14 months without cuddles
reading her bedtime stories
bathing her
holding her hand
or kissing that pretty face,
i am going to Australia.

I have saved
&
saved
&
saved

the time has almost come
i’ll be spending 6 glorious weeks with the most delightful person who ever lived.

auntie auntie will be there real soon
i am going to smother you with love
&
adore every second of it.

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the best part of me was always you….

Posted in children, family, love with tags , , , , , , , , on 03/06/2012 by doyourememberthattime

my brother & his family are emmigrating

to austrlia

i am going to lose the best and most important thing in my life.

my muffin.

my niece is everything.

i’m crying already.

i don’t know how to live without her

she is my reason to stay alive

i feel like i am grieving

in the week since i they annouced they were leaving

i have fallen apart.

i have so many fears.

how i will manage without her

how she will feel without all of her family

how will she ever understand ?

how i will ever afford to visit

will she forget me ?

i can’t bear the thought of her hurting

or

the idea that i’ll become some distant aunt that doesn’t really mean anything

i have adored every second of her life

watching her become her own little person

all the mornings she wakes me up

teaching her songs

&

reading her stories

we’ve shared so many of her firsts

created so many games

&

memories

i feel like a losing another child.

i keep thinking of all the moments that she has reminded me that life can be good

that feeling that swells inside me

just by having her near me.

so smart and funny.

we have so much fun

making her happy

is reason enough for me to keep fighting

knowing that we will never be like again

is killing me

i can’t hold her until she falls asleeep via skype

or silently watch as she creates her own play world

listen to her talk to her toys

or herself

there will be no more singing in the car

or walking the dogs together

no more singing her bath song

or breaking my back to be her horsey

the most special part of my life is over.

knowing that she loves me

knowing i will see her tomorrow and the next day

has been my reason.

my heart is breaking.