thank you for the days……

we’re losing us
and
it makes me very sad

i accepted that we
weren’t
to be
a long time ago,
but
i thought we could still be us

we had something really special
what
a
cliche

it’s true
we made each other feel extraordinary
we felt lucky
we felt edgy
we felt so very clever

at least
i did
no
i know you did too

i know those moment
were
real

you could never have faked
those smiles
or those tender words
you’re not a man given
to
soppy declarations
but
your
well considered
esotoric
compliments
made me fly

i called you odd
you called me weird
&
it felt better than any beautiful
or funny
or sexy
or smart
anyone else had ever bestowed on me

we fitted together like lego
snug
secure
a platform to build on

i suppose that is the problem
when you stop building
you lose the momentum
&
the relationship is stunted

we still talk
we still care
but
the fizz is missing

i think of you twewnty time a day,
but
i stop myself from texting
i no longer stockpile
your
future
treats

i am no longer confident that
i will be
the
one
treating you

i love you
we were never very good at saying that
but
it’s true

i don’t usually have problems with it
but i always knew it scared you
that’s fine
we had
what we had
i don’t need the words
or
for that
matter
the feeling

if you didn’t love me
fine
you’re still
the
best
man
i ever had

we’re losing us
but
i don’t think we need to
if we can just get through this bit
the tricky
not sure where the boundaries are
dreading the other finding someone
else
who makes them swoon
stage
i know, we can make it

we can remake us
into something stronger
something solid
and
safe
and
lovely

we can be friends.